Saving Yusuke
by hiei-lover-416
Summary: Kieko leaves Yusuke, so when he meets somebody inviting him to a new place, a new school, he takes the opportunity. Leaving everything and everyone behind. But will this second chance in life be the one he wants? Harry Potter Yu Yu Hakusho crossover
1. Yusuke's Pain

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This is a little idea that I have been working on. I love Yu Yu Hakusho and Harry Potter crossover's. But there aren't enough of them out there. So I am going to work on my own little piece. Also, the gang always goes to Hogwarts to save Harry Potter, in this story, they go to save Yusuke.

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or Harry Potter.

There was an apartment that stunk like garbage and sweat, was littered with beer bottles and food, and was inhabited by one passed out teen. Yusuke Urameshi had chosen the path his mother had took. A life as a drunkard.

**In his dream**

" Yusuke, I don't think we should see each other anymore. At all. You never tell me when you're leaving, and I worry about you all the time. I never know if you're going to come back alive or not. I can't deal with it anymore."

" Keiko! You never want to see me ever again?" asked Yusuke.

" It shouldn't be hard. You never come to school anyway, and you're always on a mission. But, yes Yusuke, never again. I'm sorry." Replied Keiko.

Keiko turned around and started to walk away. I wanted to chase after her, I tried, but everytime I ran faster, she got further away. I started to cry. The only person who would ever care for me, and I let her down, I chased her away.

**End of Dream**

With this, Yusuke had woken up, not only crying in the dream. He got up from the floor and headed toward the refrigerator, getting out another beer, kicking cans out of the way on the return to the couch.

' Now I understand why mom always drinks. She does it because it numbs the pain. It helps you forget. I never want to remember. It's all Koenma's fucking fault. He should have just let me die in the first place! Why the hell did he have to give me all those missions? He knew I was blowing Keiko off every time! I never want to see anybody again. But I'm running out of beer. I need to go get something more hard core. Something that will work better. But what if I run into Kuwabara, or Kurama? They will not let me do what I want! Maybe I should just end it now. Maybe I could release all my pain right now, let it flow out of my body, so I can die peacefully.'

With that thought in mind, Yusuke headed toward the kitchen to grab a knife. He held it over his right upper arm, and slashed deep. The blood began to flow, leaving Yusuke with a sense of satisfaction, like all the evil and badness was leaving his body. He cut himself again, on the other arm, two more times, one on each arm. When he passed out this time, it was with a smile on his face.

**In spirit world**

" Damnit Yusuke! What the hell are you doing? It was just one girl. You have plenty that would love to be with you. Why the hell are you doing this? Ogre!"

" Yes Koenma?"

" Get Boton in here now, I need the rest of the team."

" Yes sir."

A few minutes later, Boton walks in the office.

" Koenma? You wished to see me?"

" Yes, Boton. I need you to get me Hiei, Kurama, and Kuwabara. Yusuke is in trouble. And make it snappy."

" Yes sir."

' Oh dear, I hope Yusuke doesn't do anything stupid. We are getting help for you Yusuke, just hang on a few more days.' Thought Boton, as she flew on her or toward human world. Boton headed toward Kuwabara's school first, it was closest. She landed on the roof and went down the stairs toward the classroom he was in. She poked her head inside the door.

" Um excuse me, but Kuwabara needs to come with me to the hospital, there has been a terrible accident with his sister."

" Yes, I hope everything is all right. He is in the back." He stated, then raised his voice, " would someone wake up Kuwabara? There is an emegency."

Somebody behind Kuwabara poked him in the back of the head. Kuwabara jumped up from his seat, and looked around at all the people who were staring at him.

" What? Can't a guy get some sleep around here?"

At that, Boton spoke up, " Kuwabara, I need you to come with me, your sister is in trouble"

" WHAT? What's wrong with Shizuru?"

" If you come with me, I will explain everything."

Kuwabara jumped on, and ran over the desk to get to the door faster. Once outside, he demanded, " What the hell is going on?"

" Koenma needed to see you, but I couldn't tell that to your teacher."

" Oh!" after a pause, he asked in a more serious voice, " Is Yusuke OK?"

" I'm not sure. That is why Koenma needs to see everyone. I know it is about Yusuke, but that is all. I need to get Hiei and Kurama too."

" OK. I will get Kurama from his school, if you look for Hiei. It would be easier for you because you can fly. But for advice, just look around the park. You will most likely find him sleeping in a tree. The little shrimp is one lazy boy."

" You know, if he heard you talking about him like that, he would kill you."

" I would like to see him try. The most he could do would be to bite my ankles."

With that said, Kuwabara turned and ran down the street waving over his shoulder, " Bring Hiei to the front of Kurama's school. We will be waiting there."

****

With Boton

" Hiei?! Where are you?" ' Damnit, why can' he ever be found?

" What do you want, baka ona?"

" Oh, Hiei! I'm glad I found you."

" I let you find me."

" Oh, well, yes. Well, Koenma needs to see you. Yusuke is in trouble."

" And you think I care because…?"

" I know you do. I saw you watching his place that one day. You are worried about him. And, I think something bad happened. Koenma hasn't told me anything, but I think you should come."

" If I come, it is for my own purposes."

" OK, we just have to meet Kurama and Kuwabara over at the school."

" You can meet them, I will see you at the office." Hiei sped off, using his demon speed.

" Darn, why can't he ever listen?"

****

With Kuwabara

Kuwabara walked down the main hallway, yelling out, " SUICHI?! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

" I will never find him if I look in every classroom, but I know he can hear me when I yell.

" Kuwabara, you don't need to yell so loud. I knew the moment you walked into the school."

" Oh, Kurama, Yusuke is in trouble, Koenma needs to see us."

" Yes, I suspected he would call us soon. I have been by to see how he was doing, but I didn't see him."

" Yeah, there is definitely something wrong here."

" Hey you guys, I found Hiei!" Yelled Boton.

" Well?! Where is the shorty?"

" He is going to meet us there. So you guys can just hop aboard and I will give you a lift."

" Oh man Kurama, I rode this thing once. It kills you."

****

This is the end of chapter one. I hope you guys like it. I have never wrote sad/ depressed scenes before. Reviews are greatly welcomed and loved.

I need some ideas on who my pairs are going to be. Any suggestions would be great, but I need them before I can continue with this story.


	2. Meeting Dumbledore

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I would just like to thank my two reviewers. The tips will be put to good use. Also, I still need to think on the pairings to see if it will fit into my story. But I will keep them in mind.

I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or Harry Potter! Although I envy the geniuses who do.

In Koenma's office

" I'm glad you all could get here in time. There is a serious problem. Yusuke has become a cutter."

" A WHAT?"

" A cutter, Kuwabara. A person who cuts themselves because it makes them feel better."

" What are we going to do, none of us can get in to see him. He put up a barrier, and he won't leave."

" I have help coming. I called in a favor from an old friend. His name is Albus Dumbledore. He is headmaster at a teaching school for witches and wizards."

" What is it exactly that you think he can do that we cannot?" Asked Hiei.

" For one, he can get past barriers, and two, he will give Yusuke a chance at a new life. A chance to start over. He is going to fill in a position at the school that needs to be filled. A class called Defense Against the Dark Arts."

" Where is this school located?" asked Kurama.

" Well, it is located in England."

" WHAT?! How can you send him to England where there is only strangers he doesn't even know? He needs his friends right now. You cannot just send him away for a new life."

" Never the less, if Dumbledore can manage to get Yusuke to go, he will go. Yusuke needs a place where he won't be reminded of Keiko constantly. As for needing friends, I agree with you Kuwabara. That is why I also arranged for Dumbledore to make positions available for you guys.

For Kurama, you will be teaching a class called Herbology. He dismissed the professor, on account that one of her family members has been attacked and killed by one of their kind.

For Kuwabara, you will be filling in the position of Care of Magical Creatures, and you will be doing some game keeping duties on the grounds. The professor of the class was also the keeper of keys and grounds at Hogwarts, but he had to go onto a mission for Dumbledore. The spot needed to be filled, and you enjoy animals.

For Hiei, you will be teaching History. You are old enough to know quite a bit yourself, and the old professor was a ghost who put all the students to sleep. Dumbledore needed the children to learnt their history also, so I decided that you wouldn't allow the children to fall asleep in your class.

Just to inform you, there will be two more joining your group. Yukina and Boton. The two will fill in as Nurses at the school. The old school nurse has retired. "

With all this said, the four boys just stood there looking at the young toddler.

" But, I will tell you this. It is not a mission. It is not even mandatory. I will give you the choice if you want to go or not. Boton and Yukina have already answered yes. In fact, it was Yukina who gave me the idea to send us all to a different place. But, I need your answers now."

" If we go, will there be rules we must follow?"

" Yes Kurama. They are humans, they don't equal in strength or speed, but with their wands, they equal in power. But they are still humans. They believe in many things, but demons are just a bedtime story to keep their kids in bed. You must keep yourselves secret, and no killing them.

You will also have to follow the rules of the castle where you will be staying. Though as teachers, there won't be many."

" If it helps us to see Yusuke, then I am in. I am going to keep a close eye on him."

" We all will Kuwabara, I will also go, but we know not of this magic stuff. How are we suppose to teach it if we don't even know it?"

" Excellent question Kurama. The school year ends in one week. On the last day of school, you will go to London at a place called Diagon Ally, where you will buy all your supplies, then you will spend the next three months learning from Dumbledore himself. Who it is said is the greatest wizard of all time.

So the both of you are in, what about you Hiei?"

" Hn!"

" I will take that as a yes, excellent. Now if you would like to watch how the meeting between Yusuke and Dumbledore go, You may stay for a bit. Dumbledore said he would talk to him personally at 4:00 today."

" That is only in five minutes. I can spare that long."

" Good Kuwabara, although I will warn you guys right now, it will not be what you expect."

****

Back with yusuke in his apartment

Yusuke was thinking of all the times he and Keiko had spent together. The one he remembered most was when they spent time together at the Dark Tournament. He enjoyed having her there. She was his best friend. More than that, he loved her.

" Why did she have to go?! Keiko, all you had to do was ask me to. I would have gave it up!"

" Ah, but that is the real question. At the time, would you have gave it up?"

" Who the fuck are you?" Asked Yusuke with a knife poised over his arm. He had been ready to cut himself when the guy appeared from nowhere.

" My name is Albus Dumbledore. Headmaster of Hogwarts a school for witchcraft and wizardry."

" What the hell does this have to do with me?"

" Everything Yusuke. I need your help, and you need mine."

" Nobody can help me."

" That is where you are wrong. I have a student, whose life has not been the easiest. His parents were killed by a dark wizard, but he somehow survived, leaving behind a scar. After that night, the only family he had left were his aunt and uncle, who despised him. They ignore him, don't buy him anything, he has no new clothes of his own, and he slept, for over half his life, in a cupboard. He is not allowed to go anywhere but school and home, until he was accepted to my school. Now they treat him even more like dirt."

" This is all fine and dandy, but what the hell does this have to do with me?"

" Two years ago, he met somebody who loved him and would have done anything for him. But this year, a few days ago, he was killed. Harry is devastated. He won't talk to anybody, he keeps telling himself that he will come back. Does this sound familiar to you?"

" Don't you dare compare me to some snotty brat. I don't know who you think you are, or how you got in here, but nobody tells me what to do or think. Get out now, or I will kill you."  
( Back in spirit world, there was a audible gasp from three members in the room. Yusuke would never, ever kill another human.)

" All I am asking is that you come to my school and accept a teaching position. It is called Defense Against the Dark Arts. Your area of expertise, correct? When you come, I will pay you, and you will live in the castle, receive free food. All I ask in return is for you not to cut yourself anymore, and to talk with the boy. Only talk if you want nothing more. You two are alike in more ways than you would care to admit.

Think about it. Let me know within the week. If I hear from you, I will come and help you get ready. If I don't, I will find someone else to fill the position."

With that last statement, the old man left. Yusuke thought about the idea for the rest of the night, and for the first time in two weeks, he did not cut himself that day.

****

Well, what do you guys think? I don't think it turned out too bad. But the next chapter, I will have more of Yusuke's personal thoughts on the whole thing, while he is making his decision. There will be more angst next chapter. Plus thoughts of the other tentai.

Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	3. The Decision

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I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or Harry Potter. But thanks to my reviewers I have decided to give the next chapter a go. Not sure if there will be much angst. I seemed to have had a writers block.

Yusuke POV

How dare that old man compare me to someone else. Nobody knows what it feels like. Nobody can even begin to understand what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and stomped on. It is all my fault. I lost Keiko. I gave her up.

I knew how she felt. I never bothered to change anyway. I never thought she would actually leave me.

Now I have no one. I am alone. I have always been alone.

The boys. I know they have tried to get in here to see me. I have felt their energy. They pity me. I don't need their pity. They think they can get me to feel better. They think they can make me forget about Keiko. Nothing can. I will never forget Keiko.

The way she always stuck up for me. The way she always dragged me to school when she was able. The way she looked at me when she thought I wasn't looking.

Why does it hurt so much? Why can she not understand that I needed to fight?

I was doing something right for the first time in my life. For the first time, people needed my help. I saved people from dying.

I saved her. She was always first in my book. I gave it everything I had. It wasn't good enough.

Can this old man not see that? I fuck everything good up. I can't teach kids. I would fuck that up too. They would all hate me. They would all ignore me. They would all fear me. And eventually, they would all leave me.

Just like she did.

I need to get out of here. I can't stop thinking about her. The pain won't leave. What if I go? I can get away from here. I won't have to risk seeing her.

But I want to see her. I want to ask her to give me a chance. I wish I had the courage.

Maybe I should go. I can give her a chance to be happy with someone. Someone who will always be with her. Who won't peak up her skirt. Who won't go off for months and not tell her. Someone who will tell her to her face that they love her. Someone who isn't me!

Normal POV

" Why can't Yusuke make up his mind. It is a simple matter. Why would he want to stay in this place?"

" I don't know Koenma sir. But he only has one day left to decide if he will go or not. Oh, I hope he decides to. Maybe you should ask Dumbledore to visit him one more time."

" You're right Boton. Maybe Yusuke just needs a little shove. He is doing better. He stopped cutting himself. Now he just throws things and cries a lot more. I wish I could hear what he is thinking!"

Back in Yusuke's apartment: the next day

" I know you're here old man, you can stop being sneaky."

" I have come to see if you have made your choice. But before you answer, let me pass on some wise words."

" Cut the shit and spit it out."

" If you stay here, you will only wallow in misery because you will constantly be reminded of her. You will forever be remembering things that she did or touched. If you choose to teach in London, you will remember her still, yes, but you will not be seeing her everywhere you look. You will be able to talk to someone who knows how you feel…"

" Don't give me that bullshit. Nobody can know how I feel. Nobody is stupid enough to do the fucked up things I did. I will go and teach, but for my own reasons. Don't think it is your " Wise Words" that made me say yes."

" Excellent. I am grateful you have decided to come. If you will just take a shower and get dressed, pack your things, then I will take you to get your supplies today. School ended yesterday and there is a lot I must teach you. Is there anyone you wish to say goodbye to?"

The only response Dumbledore got was a finger as Yusuke walked into the bathroom.

In Koenma's office

" It is time for us to leave. I take it Yusuke had agreed."

" Yes Kurama, Yusuke decided only a few moments ago. He is getting ready now and Dumbledore will take him to get his things in Diagon Alley. It is a magical place where you will be able to buy all your supplies."

" It is about time that bum came out of hiding, I am going to kick his ass."

" There is something I must mention, so pay attention Kuwabara. Yusuke does not know that you guys are attending. He is not going to find out until the day before the term starts. It will give him a chance to get adjusted. Since he will be getting his supplies today, I will take you guys in two days to get your own. Then you will each be trained and taught by the other professors and Dumbledore himslef, but at different times then Yusuke."

" WHAT!? We are going there to help him and he won't even know were there for another three months?"

" Yes, that is what I am saying."

" As much as I don't agree with it, I see the point to it. I will follow your wish Koenma."

" Thank you Kurama. Now, Kuwabara, you must promise. Yusuke needs this, please don't ruin it."

" Fine, but if I run into him, I am not going to duck and hide. But I will not purposely seek him out."

" I guess that is good enough. Hiei?"

" Hn!"

" I will take that as a yes, now, you will need to mask your demon energy, you two. You guys are so strong that he will know without even seeing you. There is one favor that I must ask of you, Kurama."

" Yes?"

" Would you tell Keiko what has happened to Yusuke since she last saw him. And explain the situation to her. Don't go to into details, after all, she is the cause of this. But she has worried over him."

" Are you crazy? She doesn't deserve to know anything about him. That BITCH! She ruined his life and all you can say is she is worried!?"

" Kuwabara, I know how you feel about her, that is why I asked Kurama to do it. I wouldn't put you in the position."

" Yes, Koenma, I will do it. Although in this matter, I agree with Kuwabara. She does not deserve to know."

Kurama POV

I watched as Kuwabara left the room in anger. I knew how he felt. We all cared about Yusuke. Even Hiei did. I know how close Keiko and Yusuke were. He depended on her more than she knows. She was the main reason he came back to life. When I watched him a week ago, he looked a lot worse than I was expecting. He looked gaunt, with bags under his eyes. He was so skinny I could see each individual rib. I could see that he hadn't taken a shower in weeks, I don't know how Dumbledore could have stood the smell. I really hope this works. I owe Yusuke, I owe him my life; I owe him my mother's life; I owe him my allegiance; and most of all, I owe him my friendship.

Hiei POV

That fool of a human. He is weak. Letting himself get like that over a female. I am just going to have to get him back into shape. Toughen him up. No man, no matter human or not, should let themselves get like that. Hn, look at me! Babysitting again. At least this time it is for someone I owe something. Not for some baby that blackmails me. Plus, Yukina is going to help him. He is worthy of her care.

****

Kuwabara POV

How dare she!? HOW DARE SHE!? She knew how much he loved her. Even if he never said it. She is just a selfish Bitch. She wants him all to herself rather than have him save hundreds of people. You would think that she could at least UNDERSTAND why he does what he does! But NO! she can't, so she went and gave up on him instead. She ruined his life because she is a selfish BITCH! At least it is better this way. Now he can find someone that he deserves. Now he can have a second chance at life, well… maybe a third chance. I can't wait to see him so I can beat his face into the dirt for worrying me like that. He was bad looking. How can he do that to himself? Oh well, he now has the Great Kazuma Kuwabara helping him. Nobody can beat that!

****

Well? Reviews would be good. I didn't like the beginning part of the chapter, but no matter how many times I try and write it, I still don't like it. I can't get the feeling to where he is depressed and mad as hell, yet he still chooses to leave when all he wants to do is see her again. Maybe later on in the story it will come out more.

Next chapter will be Yusuke and the gang getting their supplies. Yukina will make her first appearance and Boton, along with Hiei, will get a bigger role.


	4. Keiko

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Thanks to my four reviewers. I don't take offense easily so I will try and make the chapters longer. My problem is I don't have very much time these days to just sit and relax, or write. More will be explained about the Keiko and Yusuke thing in this chapter. Also, I have decided on the pairings. But they are not for sure, the story goes as it goes, chapter by chapter. But for now, Harry/ Hermione, Kurama/ Yukina, Kuwabara/ Boton, Ron will remain single, as will Yusuke. There will be an OC and she will be with Hiei ( Though she won't be a main part of the story, she will be in it). Any suggestions to changes will be considered, but don't take it personally if I don't use it. If I like, I use, if not, I don't.

I do not own, so please don't sue.

Boton POV

How can those boys be so cruel hearted. They saw Yusuke in pain and in bad shape and they don't even stop to consider Keiko. I do care and love Yusuke, but he just doesn't see why she did it. Neither do any of the guys. All they heard was Keiko had broke up with Yusuke and he had locked himself in his apartment because of it. They just assumed Keiko is a cold hearted bitch for doing this to him. They don't even go ask her why or how.

I understand the why. But I don't understand how she could have done it.

I side on Yusuke with this, but I don't hate Keiko because of it. Maybe because I am a girl and know that we do things for the guy's best interest, but boys think we do things for ourselves. That is so sexist of them to not even give her a chance to defend herself.

But I understand why they are acting like this. Yusuke is in bad shape.

How could he let himself get like this? He knows we care for him. Why does he want to punish himself? Hurt himself? Is friendship not good enough to save a person?

I guess we will find out at Hogwarts.

I am going to go find out how Keiko takes the news of Yusuke's condition before I head off to spirit world to get ready.

****

With Kurama: Normal POV

" Keiko! Wait up!"

" Kurama? What are you doing here? I thought you would hate me for what I did to Yusuke."

" I am not exactly here on my own accord." He replied, dancing around a direct answer.

" What do you mean?"

" Koenma asked me to come and let you know what is going on with Yusuke. Since you obviously don't care enough anymore to at least check on him, you don't know how bad the situation has become.

Personally I would have left it that way, but Koenma thought it best that you know, so you may put this all behind you and know that it will never be the same again."

" I don't understand what you are trying to say. How bad the situation has become? What do you mean?"

With a sigh, Kurama began the explanation.

" Since the day you broke up with Yusuke, he has shut himself inside the apartment with a barrier around it so nobody can get in to see him. Before he locked himself in, he stocked up on alcohol. With what he bought, and what his mother had, he has been having a steady supply. Enough to keep him drunk at all times, except when he was passed out. He has been alone since that day."

" If nobody can get in to see him, how do you know that he has been drinking? He hates alcohol due to his mother."

" Koenma has been monitoring him on the television screen in Spirit World. Not only has he been drinking but he hasn't taken a shower, he has barely eaten. He is in bad shape.

I hope you know that you are the cause in all this?"

With tears in her eyes, Keiko asked, " When will he get better? Do you know? He is not going to kill himself, is he?" The last part of the sentence she had to whisper.

" Koenma has gotten an old friend to do him a favor. The friend got past the barrier and convinced Yusuke to leave and head to London. In London, he will be teaching a defense class.

In fact, the entire gang is heading to London. He needs his friends right now."

" Is there anything I should do. Maybe I could talk with him? I can't let him live his life this way because of me! I thought I was doing the right thing!"

" No!" Kurama replied in a cold voice, " You are the cause of this. Seeing you will only upset him more. He is leaving because he can't get you out of his head. You must be cold hearted! Knowing how he is and trying to talk to him. It would only give him hope."

With this last statement, Kurama turned and walked away.

Keiko stood with tears running down her face at the news that she had just received. She turned and ran towards her home. She slammed the doors and stomped upstairs throwing herself on her bed. She cried, and cried, and cried. Finally, when the tears slowed down, she turned onto her back and rolled off the bed. Walking over to her dresser, she grabbed a book and sat down at the desk.

She opened the book and began to write. She wrote until she was tired and walked over to her bed where she promptly fell asleep.

****

Boton POV

That poor girl. She cried forever. I can't imagine the guilt I would feel if I knew I ruined someone's life. It would be hard. I wonder what she wrote.

Stop Boton! You know you can't read a girls diary.

But she would never know if I never told anybody.

A little peak wouldn't hurt.

****

Normal POV

Boton flew her ore down through Keiko's window and picked up the book. She opened it and started to read the last entry.

****

Keiko's Diary.

WHY? Why would Yusuke do this to himself? It's all my fault. I was doing the right thing. I know I was. He will get better. He HAS to get better. Can't he understand that I was doing the right thing for him.

I know that we can't both have him, the world and I. It would never work. I am way to selfish, I want more of him every time I see him, but with him saving the world, it just doesn't happen. But I knew he would not give me up. He would give up on the world before he gave me up. So I did it for him. The world need not suffer because I am selfish.

One day he is going to find somebody who is strong; somebody who will fight by his side, saving the world; somebody who will not be selfish and willing to share. It will be somebody he deserves, and loves more than he ever loved me. She will not slap him and be mad for missing a date because he was saving the world; she will not be critical to the point of mean when it comes to his schooling, she will not be me!

He will do what he loves to do best. Fight to save the world; fight for honor; fight for what he believes is right.

That is what I love most about him. He seems like a tough guy on the outside, but on the inside he is all soft and lovable. He is just a burnt marshmallow.

STOP IT KEIKO! Stop thinking like that about him, it just makes it harder to do the right thing.

He won't have me hindering him anymore. I refuse to be the weak link to bring him down.

This is just the way it has to be. Maybe someday the pain will go away. Maybe someday I will be relieved to think of him with somebody who makes him happier than I ever could. But for now, I feel jealousy when I think of him with somebody else. I feel pain when I think of him wanting to be with somebody else. I feel empty inside when I think of all the days I have to spend without him.

WHY? Why do I have to do the right thing? Why can't my conscious go away and let me be selfish and have what I want. Why can't the world be able to defend itself against monsters?

We are weak. Most of us don't train. We get fat, and lazy. When a monster attacks, all we do is freeze ourselves to that spot.

I am going to confess something that I haven't paid attention to. It is buried deep inside me where other than on this page, it will never be spoken again.

I want to be that strong lady, who will fight by his side. That way, I will have him, and yet he can still save the world.

I am going to train with weapons, and get my body in shape. Someday, when I am good enough, I will talk with him again.

If he hasn't already found somebody else.

I will sit him down and tell him the truth. I am going to keep this page as proof. But until that day comes, this will be the last entry and I am going to lock it in a safe place. It won't be opened again until I am worthy.

Tomorrow, I will search for a decent place to hide it.

****

End of Entry: Back to Boton POV

Wow! Well, I must say that was not exactly what I was expecting. But that is wonderful news. Keiko still wants to be with him. There is still hope. I wonder how long she plans to wait and train. Maybe a year? Two? I hope she doesn't take too long. The only thing is, I wonder if Yusuke will ever take her back. At this moment, he would. In a heartbeat. I know he would. But later on, after he has gotten over her, would he still want her? All he will remember is how much she had hurt him. I hope he will be strong enough to have the courage to trust her again. I must go back and get some sleep. Tomorrow I have to get ready and go help Yukina. I wonder if I should tell her about the diary entry. I know I shouldn't, but darn it, I never could keep a secret. Just her and that will be OK. I know she won't tell anybody if I tell her not to.

****

That same day, back with Yusuke and Dumbledore ( same time during the Keiko and Kurama scene)

Yusuke POV

As I took the shower, I realized how long it had been. It felt good. I took an hour, just scrubbing my body and washing my hair. I couldn't seem to get the filth off me. I even stayed in after it ran cool, just for one more rinse though. As I was getting dressed, I though about leaving the apartment. What if I run into Her? How do I feel, now that I am leaving. I feel all kinds of different. I'm not happy, at all actually. I feel more resigned than anything. I still feel like I can't take all this pain. Why can't it just LEAVE?

-Yusuke just punched the mirror as it shattered, he watched the pieces fall to the ground.-

I can do it one more time, maybe this time, just maybe, the pain will leave for good. At least I won't have to deal with so much. I now feel frustrated too. Why can't things be the way they used to be.

Because she isn't in the picture anymore. She doesn't want to be with me. She hates me.

With this last thought, Yusuke slashed his upper arms, just once on each side.

He did make a promise not to cut himself anymore, although it wasn't in effect, he did feel just a little guilty.

As the blood flowed out of his body, so did all the pain. Now all I feel is empty. It is better than anything else.

****

Normal POV

Yusuke came out of the bathroom, and walked into his room. He grabbed all his money that he had saved over the years.

" I am ready."

" Is that all you are taking with you?"

" Yes, I am going to buy all new things, I don't know how to do laundry and I don't have any clean clothes. All I got are the clothes on my back, and the money I have saved over the years."

" If it is what you wish. Come, we are going to need to hurry. The plane leaves in two hours, and it takes an hour and a half to get there."

" We are going by plane?"

" Yes, you do not know magic yet, so we have to go the muggle way."

" Whatever you say old man. But just so you know, I don't speak English."  
" It is OK, I will give you a translation spell later, so you will understand and be able to speak."

With that said, Dumbledore opened the door and ushered Yusuke out of it.

" I called for transportation to the airport while you were in the shower. I think you muggles call it a cab."

" Fine, lets get going, I don't want to stand here all day."  
The two climbed into the cab, and Dumbledore told him where to go. Yusuke just closed his eyes, and willed himself to sleep. He didn't want to see and remember anything. The pain was starting to return.

As the cab drove further and further, Yusuke began thinking more and more of the spots they were passing through. Even though he didn't have his eyes open, he knew exactly where they were. They were going to pass in front of the Yukimora household. Keiko's house.

Dumbledore glanced at Yusuke and saw silent tears streaming down his face. He did the boy a favor, and secretly cast a sleeping charm, making sure the driver was not looking.

When the cab arrived at the airport, with only fifteen minutes to spare, he undid the sleeping charm.

" Where are we?"

" We have arrived at the airport. You fell asleep."

" Oh."

The two silently got out and unpacked their luggage. Dumbledore handed Yusuke his ticket. They got through the airport easily enough and boarded the plane. No words were spoken between the two. Dumbledore knew Yusuke was dealing with some hard times. Yusuke was grateful there was silence. He did not feel like talking.

Yusuke leaned back in his seat and promptly fell asleep, without the help of Dumbledore. Dumbledore also took a little nap.

Neither awoke until the plane landed down. When it hit ground, the two awoke to a bumpy start. Grumbling, Yusuke got up and started down the aisle with Dumbeldore in tow.

" Where to from here old man?"

" Well, since it is night time, we are going to head toward the Leaky Cauldron and stay the night there. We will begin shopping first thing in the morning. We will take the bus for now."

" Sounds just peachy. Now that I just slept over half the day, I get to go and sleep some more. How fun!"  
Yusuke was sore and irritable, and it showed.

****

I am going to end it here. I want to have an entire chapter for the shopping of all the characters. I would love to put in a lot of detail. Sorry this chapter had a lot more of Keiko in it. But I wanted to get some of her feelings across. This story is going to have some double sides. The boys all still blame her and think she is being selfish. She agrees with them, but she feels she is doing the right thing. If the idea of her goal is too farfetched, just let me know. I want to have an opening where I can take it either way. I don't want to tie any knots this early in the story.

Reviews I love, and would love it if I could get a lot. It would make me feel so much more confident.


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